monday
alice commented: you threw them AWAY???!
yes, i realized that it would take me months to digitalize them all, and some of them were four-tracks anyway that you can only play on a multitrack-player. also i think that they wouldn't do anything but hurt me : the thought of listening to interviews rob and i did or to his voice on the rehearsal tapes made me sad even without listening to them.
the other box of tapes had some cassettes with the first couple of songs i ever wrote and recorded, about twelve or fifteen. and believe me, it's just better that they're destroyed.
when i was riding to the office this morning i passed a billboard with a poster for a helge schneider concert. and even though i felt like shit and wouldn't have minded much being hit by a truck at the next crossing i suddenly had to laugh when i saw the picture and the title of his new cd. in fact people turned their heads because i had to laugh aloud. it's weird that there are these short moments in which it doesn't take much to reconcile me with the world. only for some seconds, but seconds in which i can breathe in deeply and gain confidence to push through another day.
