friday
i'm sitting at the café, jodie has just stopped throwing things at me from behind the counter ("booooooring!" she had been shouting ceaselessly). i've been looking through some notes and notebooks and a wave of happiness swept over me (really unfounded, but still!) when i realized that i've got ideas and material for eight or nine good songs. at least for the lyrics. add to that "dialogues" and you have a whole new album. now i just need the discipline to order, structure and shape the material. "go slowly" for the 376th time today. happiness and good restlessness, something ringing inside me like a promise – and then frustration and resignation again.
jodie is opening another diet coke for me, puts it in front of the laptop and when i'm looking up from work our eyes meet. her face is beaming with warmth and sympathy and understanding in this moment that i catch her off-guard. i know we could sit next to each other the entire night without saying a word, yet understanding each other. today is suzanne's birthday and tomorrow she's playing in a city in north-germany. it feels strange that she's around but that i won't take the chance to say hi. i remember last year when she was in cologne and we were backstage, only three of us, and all the talking was left to me because the other two were too shy. i didn't complain, though ;-). and for half an hour i had her undivided attention.
to other people, jesus christ or the virgin mary appears on a piece of toast or on a slice of cheese. to me, a mutant evil-spongebob appears on the bottom of a pot...
