A Thousand Plateaus

hm, how humiliating is it when a stupid windows-program suggest that you clean up your desktop? yes, so i *am* a data messy, but that is none of bill gates’ business, for crying out loud!

yeah, i still got a cold (’mancold’ as alice calls it) but i took it to the gym today and ran 15 km and now i’m too exhausted to care about my running nose.

it’s weird which things make me, hm, happy and exhilarate me. i saw this  commercial yesterday, and for some reason it made me feel, i don’t know, it just made me happy. not because of the content or the product that it sold, but because it was so simple but effective, so smart and yet very low budget. it’s just a brilliant idea:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVwnas2tfI8
the writing says: “did you just get your mechanic’s-estimate?” and it’s a spot advertising car-insurance.

the genius that is mark eitzel brought you this:
everything is beautiful and sleep

there’s a sickness in my bones, i can feel it moving through my body nervously. got weird text messages, as if we’d known each other for months. i find the thoughtlessness of youth quite confusing. you’re the girl in the paperweight. did all sort of things today to keep me from sitting down and finishing “aglajan sea”. i even have words for the dragonfly song.

sat at the computer from ten to eight without a pause, really. then i took the mp3 player and walked through the streets because i couldn’t stand another minute of sitting but the music didn’t make it better. the drums in “where i end and you begin” woke me up big time and i couldn’t stop walking and worrying and wishing i could make anything *that* exact and forceful. maybe i *do* need a band.

i always thought that this was the *one* point where i would not want to end up : wishing to yourself to go back ten years and do things differently, do them better. guess it’s my approaching birthday that makes me have these thoughts and regrets. regrets? that’s big word for a small entry.

yesterday night there was a piece of paper lying on the counter of the café.
“what’s that?” i asked jodie
“oh, c. has been here earlier, and she made this doodle…”
i looked at it, and besides other people’s name i found my own next to a  sketch. actually, i like it.

oh fuck. i don’t know. sometimes i wish i could just blast off my head.

wohow, another distressing night with unrestful sleep after which i woke up feeling more tired than refreshed. had headaches all morning long and decided to skip the gym today. at work, marla had her last day. she’s been working in the office down the corridor as long as i can remember. she’s leaving for another and hopefully better job, but still, seeing her walking to the elevator today with a box under her arm that contained her personal things she had kept in her office was really sort of…sad in two weeks time another colleague of mine will leave.

more here
http://entropic-empire.livejournal.com/3331.html

my threadless t-shirts are still missing in the mail there’s nothing really i can do. went to the post office and they told me that they can’t find the package (worth about 70$!!!!!!) and that there’s nothing they can do about it. i was so furious! anyway.

the other day i learned that someone whom i don’t really know and who doesn’t know me, really, bought a nerve bible cd on ebay. that made my day how weird is *that*!??! i wonder who sold it there. i wonder who  was so unbelievably optimistic to put it there for sale.

and then the last two minutes of “moving along” start and it’s so unbelievably fucking tender and beautiful!!!!!!! laura veirs is a fucking genius.

i took the guitar to day and tried to play some chords, but i’m totally out of practice and my fingers moved only awkwardly and the tones were heavy and plumb.

almost fell asleep in the office today *while* a colleague was talking to me! what’s wrong? i don’t sleep well and am tired and exhausted all day long. worked on rewriting the kate bush article for publication. thought. hated my life. thought some more. hated the entire world. tried not to think too much. ate candy.

name: hershey’s take five
tag line: made with chocolate, pretzels, caramel, peanuts, peanut butter.
in good old bounty and twix tradition, the bar comes in two. two knobbly thingies coated with milk chocolate, and i have no fucking clue what’s inside or how it will taste like. the label says that it’s made with pretzels, which i personally find a bit objectionable. the first bite forces a smile on my face because i’ve never eaten anything like this before. wow. weird. the slightly salty peanut butter goes well with the sweet chocolate. let’s face it : the tasteless pretzels are just a mass to arrange the good stuff around. actually it’s pretty tasty. if they had only used cookies instead of pretzels! take 5 does have a slight twix-resemblance, but the peanut butter alters the taste in surprising ways.
sweetness factor: 3 out of 5
exotic factor: 4.5 out of 5
overall taste: 3.5 out of 5

more here…

okay, actually i wanted to write about the reproduction of the means of production and the like, but it seems that my ability to get myself into a situation that i *know* will end tragically for me has once again taken over running my life.

more here…

okay, this afternoon answered the legitimate question whether a good cause justifies bad music. it does not. met with c. and we drove downtown to join the protest against a meeting of the ‘pro-köln’ party, a right-wing populist racist group. pretty much every party, union, church and other organization in the city had appealed to support the protest event at which a number of famous bands from cologne played. but i realized that even if the cause are racist nationalist wankers i just cannot get myself to sway rhythmically to cheap would-be punk renditions of 1930s songs that the self-righteous ‘rockers’ from brings were presenting, jumping from their amplifiers during their kraut-rock guitar solo. then an afro-cologne woman introduced the next band and she apologized for being late with the words “this must be my african genes coming through” and when the next act (gentleman) asked us to “put your hands in the air for a better tomorrow! come on, cologne, let me see your hands!” i had to leave, sorry, but i just couldn’t stand it anymore.

made a HUGE mistake on my way home. i passed the music store and i stopped and checked and they *did* indeed have a taylor 214 ce on display. so i went in and tried it. granted, it doesn’t play on its own and i needed some adjustment to the frets and string-spacing, but still… sigh. *sigh*. SIGH! but it’s just WWWAAAYYYY too expensive!

you (rolling your eyes): “you’re always complaining!”
me: “i’m not complaining. i’m merely phrasing realistic descriptions of my misery.”