…you tried, though you could hardly swim. and almost drowned.
my day: woke up. rushed to the gym. took my bike and drove to the office (i’ve got a key to the building so i can get into the office even on sundays), scanned images, returned, did the laundry, did the washing up. then started to do more preparational work for the tv show taping next thursday. i started to collect images for the respective songs so that we have some kind of ‘visual support’ – i will have to use the ibook anyway for the ‘headcrash’ sample, so i thought that – when i don’t need it for the other songs - it can at least show appropriate images. and out of this grew the idea to make a video for ‘first day love’ which i have done today. it’s not really a video, it’s more a serious of still images, the old calvin & hobbes trick. i’ll try to create a web-friendly version tomorrow and put them on the 200 lurkers web page. at least until bill watterson sues us.
did some slight changes on the “headcrash” sample as well. i’ve added some low rumbling noises in the chorus, the idea was to catch some ordinary eternal machinery, some inarticulate murmur of the spheres. to do so i put the mic and the mini-disc recorder in my refrigerator and taped its humming. i played this on the pc and – through a series of stretching and pitch shifts – rendered it really low. oh boy, this thing is either going to be really cool or it will backfire really, really badly! i’ll know more thursday night. shiver.
the last thing i did tonight before i came to the café was tuning wineglasses. the plan is that bernd will not only play the glockenspiel in “the pilot” but also wine glasses in “space walk”. as i just said: either or.
when i was talking to blane the other day (sitting at starbucks and drinking a small coffee for 3,10 euro) i at one point said: “you know, i more and more treat the entire deleuze philosophy like a religion.” and i guess this is truer than i’d like it to be. i strenuously try to ‘live’ these things, even though i don’t understand them. i try to put them into practice. and for better or for worse, it has altered my life, or the way i lead it, or the way i’m thinking, or the way i’m perceiving. maybe i should found THE CHURCH OF GILLES DELEUZE 
here’s a self portrait from cohen’s latest book. and if this doesn’t make you feel light-hearted for at least the fraction of a second i advise you get professional help real soon.
i’m sitting at the café, and it’s really crowded. came here to work on jamie’s and my secret project. she doesn’t really have any time right now, so i’ll have to do it alone. which, and this goes without saying, is not even half the fun. but we have to finish it soon. you know what, that cardigans album (long gone before daylight) is really, really good.
thought some more about the sebastian situation: actually, it couldn’t be any better. there are only two options. the first one is that he’s really dishonest and giving me shit – in which case he couldn’t make it easier for me to convince myself that he’s not really somebody i would like to get involved with. the other option is that he we’ll someday get to know each other better. and, as breavman in The Favorite Game says, ” I’m afraid to live any place but in expectation”. even though one doesn’t really want to be a breavman.
